What was just another day, turned out to be so much more (PART 1)
It is a strange thing, to sit here and type out what my heart has always known: I would someday have a child with Down Syndrome.
It is not something you hear people say a lot. These days, the news is full of reports and real life stories of parents who have chosen to abort their children because they were diagnosed with Down Syndrome. Countries around the world are continually changing laws to give adults the ability to abort later and later in pregnancy in order to prevent the birth of a child with Down Syndrome.
Me....my arms have yearned to hold a child....LOVE a child with Down Syndrome. At some points, we just were not ready. At other points, it was not the right time. Other times, we let fear and the words of others cloud our judgement. I am not proud of that. What I have always known was that someday, I would be the parent of a child with Down Syndrome.
A year ago, we started praying about it and researching. Is there a need for Domestic Adoption? Where is there a need? We were reading, talking with families who have already walked this journey, and talking with our kids. After time, we decided that an International adoption from Hong Kong would be the best option for our family. We thought we were there...ready to go....ready to proceed. Then, poof, it's over. It was not going to happen for us. It was not in our cards.
My heart was broken. A loss.....losing the child that I had not yet seen or felt...but knew was there. Hearing the sadness in my kids voices and even hearing our eldest who had been apprehensive say she was saddened because she had actually started to feel excited about the idea. **dagger to the heart**
How do you explain to your heart what your head understands but your heart cannot comprehend?
It is not something you hear people say a lot. These days, the news is full of reports and real life stories of parents who have chosen to abort their children because they were diagnosed with Down Syndrome. Countries around the world are continually changing laws to give adults the ability to abort later and later in pregnancy in order to prevent the birth of a child with Down Syndrome.
Me....my arms have yearned to hold a child....LOVE a child with Down Syndrome. At some points, we just were not ready. At other points, it was not the right time. Other times, we let fear and the words of others cloud our judgement. I am not proud of that. What I have always known was that someday, I would be the parent of a child with Down Syndrome.
A year ago, we started praying about it and researching. Is there a need for Domestic Adoption? Where is there a need? We were reading, talking with families who have already walked this journey, and talking with our kids. After time, we decided that an International adoption from Hong Kong would be the best option for our family. We thought we were there...ready to go....ready to proceed. Then, poof, it's over. It was not going to happen for us. It was not in our cards.
My heart was broken. A loss.....losing the child that I had not yet seen or felt...but knew was there. Hearing the sadness in my kids voices and even hearing our eldest who had been apprehensive say she was saddened because she had actually started to feel excited about the idea. **dagger to the heart**
How do you explain to your heart what your head understands but your heart cannot comprehend?
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